Answer these simple questions.  Be sure to answer honestly!

1. Do you remember your very first thought this morning (before you opened your eyes?)      
Yes/No
Bonus Question:  If you answered Yes, was it positive? Yes/No

2.  If you had the chance, what would you change about your partner?
a) Nothing           b) Very Little         c) Got a few hours?

3.  You’ve just had a fight with your partner and you call a good friend for coffee.  In your conversation:
a) You cry the blues
b) You ask for advice
c) You mention nothing about your fight

4. Over dinner with a good friend, she begins to tell you how sweet and romantic her partner is.  You:
a) have a hard time hearing it, because your man is so far from that  
b) are sincerely happy for her, but at the same time a little jealous
c) are sincerely happy for her, and it gives you an idea of something romantic you will do for your partner!

5.  How often do your feelings get hurt in your relationship?
a) Often             b) Seldom           c) Never

6.  You partner comes home from a hard day’s work. He is clearly in a bad mood.  Answer honestly. You:
a)   do your best to support him, at the same time you keep your own mood happy. You don’t allow his bad mood to spoil your happiness.
b)   do your best to support him, but you can’t help it, when he’s miserable, you’re miserable.

7.  How romantic is your partner?
a) Very romantic          b) Mediocre/Average          c) Not romantic at all        

8.  When was the last time you did something romantic for your partner?
a) Today                b) Within the last week           c) Do not remember

9. Is your love growing or diminishing?
a) Growing             b) Diminishing          c) Staying the Same

10. How do you feel in your relationship?
a) Happy/Loved/Safe   
b) Uninterested/Bored    
c) Unhappy/On Shaky Ground

Scoring your Answers:

1.  If you answered Yes to question 1 give yourself 10 points.  Add 5 points if you answered Yes to the bonus question. 

The first step to creating an amazing love life is to be aware of your thoughts.  Everything in life is choice.  People spend more time choosing what they are going to wear in the morning than they do choosing how they will connect with people.   Your first thought of the day lines up energy of the day.  You can consciously pre-pave your day.  Start your day with some powerful pre-paves that will line up a day of miracles for you in love.  Pre-pave “I deeply connect with my partner today.”

2.  If you chose a) give yourself 10 points.  If you chose b) give yourself 5 points. 

We shouldn’t wish to change anything about anyone else, rather change ourselves, then the whole world changes naturally around us.  Whatever you focus on, shows up more in your relationship.  If you inwardly concentrate on your partner’s faults or idiosyncrasies, they will become more dominant to you.  Whatever you look for, you will find.  Begin to look for the best every day. 

3. If you answered c) score yourself 10 points.  Neither of the other two answers warrant any points.  Whatever you talk about, expands in your life. You are not helping your relationship by telling a friend all about your woes in love.  Asking for advice only closes off your own inner voice.  Ask your questions within and keep your answers to yourself and your partner. Your relationship is private and its privacy should be respected. 

4.  First of all, don't compare your life to that of another. You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. If most of us were truly aware of the ups and downs of another person’s life, we would be more than happy to stick with our own. 

Often what we see in the lives of others is there to give us clarity on what we want in our own life. So when you see a friend enjoying what you want, rejoice and say Yes! That is what I want too! Then put your energy toward creating it.

If you chose c) score yourself 10 points and 5 points for b).

5.  If you answered c) give yourself 10 points.  If you answered b) give yourself 5 points.  No one can offend us or hurt us without our permission.  Ten% of life is what happens to us, 90% is how we respond.  Attitude is not the most important thing, it’s the only thing....because it creates our next experience. 

6.  Often when our partner is in a bad mood, not only do we let it affect us, we often dampen our own self esteem by questioning “is it me? did I do something to wrong?” Then we brood about it.  Get out of that trap. Start a new habit of keeping your own thoughts on a high plane, regardless of his mood. His mood has nothing to do with you. You can choose how you want to feel, despite how anyone around you is feeling.  And if you’re both wallowing, you are in no position to pick him up.

Score 10 points for choosing a).                                          
7.  First of all, if you answered c) the first thing you need to do is change that thought.  It is a limiting belief that is creating the very thing you don’t want.  Regardless of what you scored, expand your thinking about the meaning of romance to mean much more than just flowers and chocolates. Romance can also be taking out the garbage, holding the door open, or anything that shows a sign of selfless service.

Score yourself 10 points for answering a) and 5 for b). 

8.  If you marked a) give yourself 10 points. Way to go. Romance is something you do, not get. So many people look for a romantic partner, rather than just making the effort themselves to create romance in the relationship.  Give yourself 5 points if you picked b).   

9.  We are always in the driver’s seat of our own experience and can choose at any time to create more love in our lives.  Pre-Pave to your partner “I love you more today.”  This will line up the energy for more love. Don’t miss a day. Make it a habit.

Give yourself 10 points for answering a) and 5 points for answering c)

10. There is a misconception that our feelings are a result of circumstance; that troubles in a relationship cause feelings of sadness or frustration. But this is a misconception. We feel a certain way because we think a certain way--period!  Change your thoughts and you change your feeling. Feelings are in fact a great method of keeping on track with your relationship. They are your emotional guidance system that tells you when your thoughts are on track or not.   Whenever you have a negative feeling, decide what you want then Pre-Pave it. A powerful Pre-Pave is to say and feel inwardly “I am worthy of true love. I am worthy.” 

Score yourself 10 points if you answered a).


Tallying Your Score:

Add up your points.  105 is a Perfect Score.  Zero is the lowest possible score.

85- 105   Way to go! You are the light that others light their candles from!  Keep up the good work, and show those around you how to do the same!

65 - 80  You are there most of the time there!  You know what you’re doing in love, and it’s getting you results.   Now, look at the areas where you could improve and decide to make the changes that feel right.

45- 60  You’re half-way there, keep on going.  Be sure to do the final exercise below to take your relationship to the next level.

0 - 40  We all have to start somewhere.  Take a hard look at yourself and your relationship and identify if this person is right for you.  Also look at yourself and who you become with your partner.  Everything can change when we change inside.  Complete the final exercise below and try to stay positive!

Final exercise for ALL scores: 

Rate your current relationship from 1 - 10. 
What would it take to get it to a 10?
Are you doing all you can to create a deeper bond with your partner?

Go back and re-do this Quiz again, as often as you wish, to keep yourself on track.

Elizabeth Fayt, Relationship Expert and Author of Paving it Forward
http://www.elisabethfayt.com